HOW TO HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Do you have a healthy relationship? Are you seeking the right qualities in a partner, and would you be able to recognize them if you did? Often, people become so fixated on finding the “one” and experiencing that elusive “spark” that they forget to evaluate whether their relationship is truly beneficial for them. It’s important to step back and learn how to cultivate a healthy relationship before you can find genuine happiness and fulfillment with another person.

When considering how to establish a healthy relationship, don’t immediately focus on your partner’s attributes or what they do for you. Instead, concentrate on the relationship itself and its dynamics. What are the unique qualities of this relationship? What draws you and your partner together? Take a moment to imagine how happy and fulfilled you and your partner make each other feel. Visualize the sensation of being completely satisfied and cherished by another person. How does that make you feel? More importantly, why do you feel that way?

Consider what makes this potential relationship so exceptional. Can you articulate it? Even if you can’t immediately describe what makes it feel so extraordinary, it probably possesses many, if not all, of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship.

WHAT IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?

There is no one definitive model for relationships. Healthy relationships are composed of various qualities and elements that contribute to the feelings and behaviors that define them. Regardless of who you love, how you met, or your shared history, there are fundamental traits that distinguish a healthy relationship. Essentially, a healthy relationship is characterized by a sense of being valued, trusted, and respected. Period. Take a moment to reflect on whether your relationship possesses these traits:

COMMUNICATION:

Although it may seem simple, engaging in a genuine dialogue with your significant other entails much more than merely discussing the events of your day. Authentic communication fosters an emotional bond that cannot be replicated elsewhere.

HONESTY:

Being completely truthful about one’s thoughts and feelings is a crucial aspect of communication. In healthy relationships, both individuals are candid with themselves and their partner about their emotions and perspectives.

Vulnerability:

Being open and truthful in a relationship inevitably leads to vulnerability. A healthy relationship requires trust in one’s partner to provide unwavering support, regardless of the situation.

Growth:

Stagnation in a relationship can be detrimental, as growth is essential for its longevity. By committing to constant and continual improvement, a couple can reach new levels of love and intimacy beyond their imagination.

Intimacy:

Intimacy is not limited to sexual acts. It encompasses the small, tender moments such as snuggling in bed on lazy Sundays or holding hands during a walk. It involves emotional closeness and a deep sense of trust, which ultimately differentiates romantic relationships from friendships.

All truly extraordinary romantic relationships share one commonality: absolute commitment. Although not always effortless, the effort is always worthwhile.

WHAT ARE SOME RELATIONSHIP RED FLAGS?

Although it would be desirable for us to identify the indications of an unhealthy relationship, the reality is that it can be difficult to detach ourselves from someone we love. We tend to fixate on the positive aspects and ignore what is frequently evident to others – that the relationship is detrimental. If you are pondering over what constitutes a healthy relationship, it might be time to keep an eye out for these warning signs:

Criticism:

Distinguishing between honesty and criticism is crucial. If your partner is truthful, you should still feel valued and respected since their feedback is helpful. Criticism, on the other hand, can be about insignificant things, such as your clothing choices or hobbies, and can make you feel insignificant.

Controlling behavior:

When your partner insists that you change your appearance, give up your hobbies or socializing with loved ones, it should be considered a significant warning sign. More subtle signs of controlling behavior could include pressuring you to divulge every detail of your day or wanting to be with you all the time.

Distance:

In a healthy relationship, emotional and physical closeness are equally important. If one partner shows disinterest in intimacy, or if either partner holds back their thoughts and feelings, it may be time to reignite the passion.

Lack of conflict resolution:

Occasionally, it is best to resolve minor disagreements before they escalate. However, if you consistently bury conflicts or argue without finding any resolution, it may indicate poor communication skills.

Certain red flags in a relationship, such as physical or emotional abuse, are always grounds for immediate termination. Otherwise, with commitment and dedication from both partners, healthy relationships can often be restored.

HOW TO HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Irrespective of the duration of your relationship, it is possible to cultivate fundamental skills necessary for a successful relationship. Building constructive habits and patterns for creating and sustaining an exceptional relationship demands conscious effort and the repetition of positive behaviors and communication. Once established, these habits between you and your partner can pave the way for a beautiful, passionate, and enduring relationship that you both deserve.

1. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST

Are you familiar with the phrase “like attracts like”? This is the law of attraction, which posits that we attract the things we focus on and surround ourselves with, both in relationships and in life. If you adopt a positive mindset, lead a passionate life, and practice self-acceptance and kindness, you will naturally attract like-minded individuals.

Learning to love oneself can be a challenging process, requiring the identification and resolution of limiting beliefs and the creation of a narrative that instills strength and confidence. However, if you desire a healthy relationship, this is a critical initial step.

2. RAISE YOUR STANDARDS

f you aspire to cultivate a healthy relationship, it is crucial to set high standards for yourself. Failure to do so may result in a stagnant and declining relationship. Therefore, it’s essential to evaluate what you genuinely desire from your relationship, the standards you hold for your ideal partner, and what you expect from your partner, both physically and emotionally.

Whatever your criteria may be, you must hold yourself to the same standards. Remember that you are a vital participant in this relationship. The way you expect your partner to show up for you is precisely the way you must show up for them.

3. MEET YOUR PARTNER’S CORE NEEDS

How can you define a healthy relationship? It’s when two people prioritize each other’s needs as their own. As you consistently do this, the relationship becomes more rewarding. It’s important to identify your partner’s fundamental needs such as comfort, security, and significance, and understand how they want these needs fulfilled – whether through physical touch, words of affirmation, or other means.

Develop the ability to truly understand your partner’s emotions. This goes beyond just recognizing their needs on an intellectual level, and involves connecting with them at a deeper emotional level and empathizing with them. Do you prioritize your partner and their needs above all else? What are you willing to sacrifice for the sake of love? At the same time, make sure you are personally fulfilled by the relationship as well.

4. COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY

Effective communication is the foundation of healthy relationships. You don’t have to guess what your partner wants because they have probably already told you. In a healthy relationship, communication involves active listening and focusing on meeting your partner’s needs rather than your own. 

Once you both understand each other’s needs, you can work together to make sure they are being met. By putting in the effort to fulfill each other’s core needs, you can experience deep levels of happiness, love, passion, and trust in your relationship.

5. GROW TOGETHER

What if the path ahead appears difficult and fraught with challenges? Tony believes that “Every problem is a gift; without problems, we would not grow.” Obstacles, difficulties, and disagreements provide opportunities to overcome them and advance together with your partner.

Stagnation, or a lack of growth, can cause a relationship to decline. Growth results from embracing uncertainty and venturing into unknown terrain. Sometimes, discomfort can be beneficial, so don’t let anxiety prevent your relationship – or you – from advancing.

6. APPRECIATE YOUR DIFFERENCES

Appreciating the differences between you and your partner is crucial for keeping your relationship interesting and exciting. Instead of ignoring or downplaying your dissimilarities, embrace them. It was probably these differences that sparked your interest in each other in the first place, and it’s important to hold onto that. By valuing and respecting each other’s unique qualities, you’ll not only appreciate the life you’ve built together but also revel in it.

7. DEVELOP TRUST

Trust is the bedrock of any fruitful and positive relationship. It is the root from which mutual respect grows, and both are fundamental to communication, connection, and progression. During moments of pressure and insecurity, when your joint commitment may be questioned, you can really see the level of trust you have in each other.

Ask yourself, can your partner count on you to support them, even in difficult or uncertain times? Are you reliable in your honesty and communication, even if it may cause temporary discomfort? Does your partner have faith that you will meet their needs?

8. BE HONEST

If you want to maintain a healthy relationship, it’s essential to prioritize honesty, both with your partner and with yourself. You need to have confidence in your own thoughts and feelings, which will help you navigate conflicts in a positive way. Don’t shy away from difficult conversations or try to hide your disappointment or pain. Instead, approach them with honesty and courage. Even the strongest relationships will face challenges, but with honesty and fearlessness, you and your partner can overcome anything that comes your way.

9. REDEFINE INTIMACY

Small, everyday moments are just as important for building intimacy as big events, and intimacy is not limited to physical touch. For example, intimacy can be watching a favorite movie together for the tenth time or making your partner’s favorite meal without being asked.

If you’re having trouble connecting with your partner, don’t give up. Building and maintaining a healthy relationship requires effort to keep the spark alive. You should learn to express your feelings and thoughts in the moment to address any issues and avoid developing resentment that may cause problems later on.

10. DISCOVER THE POWER OF POLARITY

In a healthy relationship, there is an attraction between opposite energies known as polarity. Masculine energy represents commitment, certainty, and purpose, while feminine energy is characterized by vulnerability, spontaneity, and provocative play. It is important for there to be one partner with masculine energy and the other with feminine energy, regardless of physical gender.

To sustain lasting passion with your partner, it is necessary to explore your polarity. It is the interplay of these energies that brought you together, and it is the same powerful interplay that can keep the passion alive. You can discover your leading energy by taking our polarity assessment, and use this knowledge to reconnect with yourself and your partner.

11. ALIGN YOUR VALUES

Variances in energy aren’t the sole type of difference that can arise in relationships. Even in healthy relationships, disagreements can emerge regarding values and long-term objectives. Instead of using these challenging circumstances as a justification to dissolve the relationship, a thriving relationship will leverage them as a chance to realign and evolve.

It’s crucial to understand your own values and objectives, as well as those of your partner. Are your communication patterns and goals aligned with those of your partner? Even though misalignments in these areas can result in friction, they also present an opportunity to advance the relationship to a new level of intimacy, passion, and connection.

12. SHIFT YOUR FOCUS

To embark on the challenging journey towards a healthy relationship, it’s essential to have a clear understanding of the desired outcome and make a commitment towards it. This clarity and commitment lead to focus, and where focus is directed, energy flows. The question is, will you concentrate on problems or solutions?

If you choose to concentrate on solutions, you’ll be able to work through difficulties and appreciate how your differences add value to your life together. Rather than viewing your differences as a burden or source of distress, you’ll begin to see them as a source of joy and stimulation.

13. KEEP IT GOING

Once you’ve achieved a satisfying level of health in your relationship, it’s time to move forward and lead by example. 

Remember that you always have a choice in how you react to life’s challenges. You can either let pain and suffering consume you and your relationship, or you can use those experiences as opportunities to learn, grow and strengthen your bond. 

Maintaining a healthy relationship requires ongoing effort and attention, no matter how long you’ve been together. As Tony Robbins says, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.” So keep experimenting, adding variety, and infusing your relationship with energy and passion – and don’t forget to have fun along the way!