If You Really Love Someone, Ask Them These 10 Questions

In relationships, effective communication is key to maintaining a strong and joyful bond with our loved ones. It is widely recognized that minimizing negativity and improving communication can greatly reduce conflict in romantic relationships. However, wanting to communicate well and actually doing so are two different things.

So, how much time should a typical and happy couple spend interacting and conversing daily? A study conducted in the U.K. suggests that over time, couples do not communicate enough in a significant way.

What constitutes “meaningful” communication? Well, a long-term romantic relationship necessitates synchronization on many different, deeper levels, not just discussing the details of daily life. Therefore, here are 10 thought-provoking questions that you can frequently ask your partner to deepen your connection and love for one another.


1 “How are you doing today?”

Instead of asking “what” your partner is doing, try asking “how” they are doing. Take the time to ask this question while looking directly into their eyes. If you sense that something may be troubling them, gently touch their arm or shoulder while asking or softly touch their face and let them know that you genuinely care about how they are doing.


2 “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

If you notice that your partner is preoccupied or stressed out with a long to-do list, take the initiative to ask them how you can assist them. Use this question as an opportunity to show your support and willingness to help with whatever they need. If your partner is typically independent and self-reliant, try to connect with them by making eye contact and gently touching them. Let them know that you care by saying, “I want to help you, please tell me how I can be of assistance.”

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3 “What’s important to you?”

When your partner is faced with an important decision, asking this question can be helpful: “What is it that you truly want?” This type of inquiry allows your spouse to reflect on their core values and share their thoughts and feelings with you, which can deepen your understanding of each other. By posing this question, you’re inviting your partner to discuss what matters most to them and consider what they truly desire.


4 “What would you like to do?”

This question is best asked when you and your partner have some free time or when you are planning a date or discussing important goals in your lives. You could also phrase it as, “What’s your ultimate dream?” or “If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?” By asking this question, you will gain insight into your partner’s aspirations and desires, allowing you to work together to make them a reality.


5 “How can I encourage you?”

Asking this question is particularly crucial when you are aware that your spouse is going through a difficult or challenging time. Whether it is an issue your partner is dealing with alone or a life obstacle you are both facing, it’s essential to understand what your partner needs to feel comforted and supported during this period. Once you know what they need, try to provide that for them as much as possible.


6 “What goals would you like to set for us, and for yourself?”

It’s essential to discuss and ponder on this question every few months with your partner. During this conversation, it’s important to cover several aspects, such as career, family, finances, friendships, your marriage, self-development (such as skills, hobbies or education), and mental and spiritual growth, to get a comprehensive understanding of your current situation and future aspirations.


7 “Are you happy with where our relationship is going?”

It is crucial to ask this question and have a discussion with your partner on an annual basis. Take time to reflect on how your relationship has been over the past few months and identify any necessary adjustments to maintain a healthy and satisfying relationship.


8 “What is your biggest fear?”

Although it may not be a question that naturally comes to mind, it’s essential to know the answer to this question. Find out what worries your partner, be receptive to having a discussion about these concerns (even if you don’t share the same fears), and actively work towards resolving these worries. Whether it’s work-related, a conversation with a family member, or global issues, understand what scares them so you can provide comfort and support.


9 “What makes you feel the happiest?”

Life can’t always be fun as we spend most of our time either working at home or our workplace. That’s why it’s essential to reward ourselves for all the hard work and effort we put in. Discover what makes each of you happy and get involved in those things. As you grow and change, your interests and priorities might also shift, so don’t be surprised if something new becomes your top priority.


10 “What do you want out of our life together?”

Knowing your partner’s goals, objectives, and desires is crucial for a successful relationship. Ask them about their short-term and long-term plans, and make sure to show your support and interest. By prioritizing their goals, you’ll motivate them to do the same for yours. Together, you can work towards creating the ideal life you both want.

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